Shirley's Story

Shirley Wong, 41, was born Deaf in Perak and moved to Selangor. The only distinctive difference about her is that she uses sign language to communicate with people. Despite the impediment, Shirley is independent and well-adjusted into having a healthy family. Instead of having her Deaf husband, Albert Yeoh, 42, was born in Selangor, to be the sole breadwinner of the family, she creates her own career – she is one of the board of directors of a laundry shop, namely Silent World Sdn Bhd.

A mother of three beautiful children aged 13, 11 and 7 years old, Shirley recalled the joys of being pregnant. Not only were Albert and her in-laws attentive to her, they also cosseted Shirley with good food and great care. “When I discovered I was pregnant with my first child, my husband, Albert, who's also born deaf, was very excited about it. My in-laws were especially elated since Albert is the eldest son in the family. They made me herbal soups and made sure I was in good shape all the time,” signaled Shirley.

Amid the indulgence, Shirley confessed that pregnancy wasn't always a bed of roses. “Since I'm an energetic person, I felt really uncomfortable with my bulging tummy. I have to limit my movements and daily activities.” She expressed that she also disliked being sick during pregnancy. Needless to say, she was deprived of her sleep and the lavatory become her most frequented place.

My Kids Are Normal

There were raised-eyebrows and concern at first when Shirley went to see her gynecologist, and concern at first when Shirley went to see her gynecologist, and people were sceptical on how Shirley was going to communication was all down to pen and paper, as writing was the best and only way for both parties to understand each other. During her first appointment, Shirley wasn't sure about the procedure, and she invited an interpreter to accompany her. Subsequently, when she was conceived with her second and third children, she was more confident to meet the doctor on her own. “My doctor was great, she explained in great detail about the whole process and everything I need to know. That helped a lot in reducing my anxiety.”

When the doctor informed Shirley that she had to opt for a Caesarean section, it was like a glass shattered into a thousand pieces. “I was disappointed. I have the desire to give birth to my children in the natural way, but the formation of my hips is just too small for the baby to be delivered naturally, and Caesarean was the only option.”

Despite her reluctance to go under the knife, Shirely gave birth to three healthy children – Valerie, Ivan and Ryan, and what really thrilled Shirley and her family was that all her children have prefect hearing. Initially, Shirley's in-laws were worried about the children being born deaf like their parents, but Shirley felt sure that her children were going to be as healthy as other normal kids. And truth be told, their worried were replaced by gratification. The father of the children has been very supportive throughout the three pregnancies. Albert was overcome with joy when Shirley delivered their first child, Valerie. “My husband was able to identify Valerie through the glass door of the babies' room, and he made sure that Valerie has her name banded on her wrist in case of baby-swapping incidents.”

Valerie, Ivan and Ryan display different characters. “My eldest daughter, Valerie tends to be very emotional. Ivan, on the other hand, is very gentle and giggles a lot. Ryan, being the youngest in the family bustles with energy and is highly spirited.” Despite the differences between these siblings, they love and support each other at all times.

Shirley taught her children how to sign at the tender age of one. At the same time, they learn how to speak from their grandparents too. With such exposure, Valerie, Ivan and Ryan have adapted well to living in both the hearing and deaf worlds. “The children now speak with their grandparents, and sign to me and their father.” Shirley and Albert have also sent their children to nursery so that they would be able to cope with early speaking. “But to be honest, communication was not really a problem. Although my in-laws can't really sign, they had made an effort to make simple gestures and I really appreciate that.”

The Joys of Being a Mother

Raising hearing kids doesn't intimidate Shirley in any way. In fact, she enjoys being a mother so much that she attended programmes conducted by YMCA to brush up on her parenting skills, and increase her awareness and knowledge on parenting issues such as understanding the needs and wants to her children.

Besides taking care of her children, Shirley is also involved in preschool programme in YMCA where she teaches signing to hearing impaired children. As education is a priority in her husband's family, Shirley has taken advice from well-meaning cousins and friends to send her children for early education. “I want my children to be able to sign as well as read. I want to make sure that my kids don't miss out developmentally, and an early tuition in signing and in communication helps them to prepare themselves in school.”

Like all mothers, Shirley looks forward to having her children grow up healthily and secure a successful career of their own in future. “Having kids is the most grateful thing in my life, because I know that when I grow old, my children will always be there for me.”

Marliza's Story

My Whole Family's Deaf

Marliza was born Deaf in Perlis and moved to Kuala Lumpur. But her husband, Kamarzaman was not born Deaf. He only lost his hearing when he was seven, and as far as she knows, there isn't any history of speech and hearing impairment in both out families. When she gave birth to all their three children – Fahan, Saofuddion, and Rawi, now aged 17, 14 and 12 respectively, they never suspected that they would be hearing impaired. When they noticed them not responding to noises and sounds, Kamarzaman and she decided to send them for hearing test, and the results showed that their children were indeed born Deaf.

"Many people tend to be curious about our family, since we're quite unique in the scene that everyone in the family uses signs to communicate. My children are attending a special school, but the knowledge they gained in school is no different from those taught in normal schools.

Since Kamarzaman and I work during the night as fruit sellers, we try to spend as much time as possible during the daytime with our kids, They can be as naughty as any other children of their age, but they're still great kids, especially Fahan, my eldest son. He's very responsible and looks after his siblings when we aren't around.

While I wish my sons to be useful citizen of Malaysia, Kamarzaman expects his children to participate not only in school activities but also in activities organised by the NGO involving the Deaf. He felt that since our family is hearing impaired, the children need to know about the Deaf community and its culture as well. We lead a humble life and I feel that as long as we're able to provide shelter, food and education to our children, we've nothing more to ask for.”